My New Game Review Philosophy

When in doubt, rate the game a "7"

What good does it do to stomp on the hard work of the game designer?

I'm a fan of 6: "OK. Some fun or challenge. Will play sporadically if in the right mood." It has all the noncommittal qualifiers necessary for a default rating.

I look forward to reading your reviews on the front page.

Don't forget to use red text.

ugh, i used to rate movies a bunch and I couldn't believe how much I would get yelled at when I actually have a movie a 1/10 (it was VERY rare). People would be like, "how can you justify that!?!? As IF a movie could be a 1/10."

since it's 100% relative, i think it is very easy to give a movie a 1/10. It is still quite rare.

Black Barney wrote:

ugh, i used to rate movies a bunch and I couldn't believe how much I would get yelled at when I actually have a movie a 1/10 (it was VERY rare). People would be like, "how can you justify that!?!? As IF a movie could be a 1/10."

since it's 100% relative, i think it is very easy to give a movie a 1/10. It is still quite rare.

I'd rate Leonard Part 6 a zero if I could.

It's very wrong and likely against The Bible to review a game and wantonly, brazenly insert your opinion into it. From now on, I will only be providing delightfully objective reviews that simply restate what you can learn about the game by reading the rules and the back of the box. I realize now how wrong I was to assume that everyone in the internet board gaming community wanted to hear what I personally felt about a game.

So from now on, don't bother reading any review I publish. Just read the rulebook and imagine me in your mind saying "it's a good game, not my cup of tea, but someone might like it." And then picture a slot machine registering three sevens and the fruits of happy, dull-eyed objectivity will come showering down.

Im glad we can come to some agreement and mutual admiration as reviewers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meKUsZkXgEc

Larry Levy approves this thread

I'm sorry Steve I can't agree with you on this one. It's sometimes really hard work taking a dump-- but you'll never see me calling a turd anything else because of it.

yeah, I hate it when bad games get decent reviews like 5-8 out of 10 when the game is clearly an epic fail. I don't see any point in rewarding hard work if it did not result in anything good.

ntw, Leonard part 6 is a SOLID 1/10. I wouldn't give it a 0/10. I don't think I have ever given a 0/10. Although if I take a quick look at recent movies, i hear that both Miss March and Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li are both 0/10's. I refuse to see either. Can anyone confirm?

I find this problem (of not giving a 1/10 or 0/10) to be most common with video games. Take Yaris, for example. I mean that is CLEARLY a 0/10 or maybe a 1/10 but it got 2/10's across the board. What gives?

Black Barney wrote:

I find this problem (of not giving a 1/10 or 0/10) to be most common with video games. Take Yaris, for example. I mean that is CLEARLY a 0/10 or maybe a 1/10 but it got 2/10's across the board. What gives?

I think the fact that it was free helped a lot. I'd have given it a 2/10.

yeah, that's a really good point. i can't be bothered to let price affect the quality of the game but I suppose you're right. I remember some game for the original Xbox that was a mechwarrior-type game got slammed for being too expensive in the reviews.

The thing about Yaris is that it is unplayable. I bought all 3 of the Burger King 5$ games and loved all of them. They were horrible but they were fun and cheap. Yaris was free and I couldn't bring myself to play more than 5 minutes. it was SO painful. Everything was horrible.