Beauty and the Beast - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews

I thought this was pretty good but my six-year old girl didn't like it. 

Also, am I a total idiot for not knowing this was going to be a musical? How did I not know that going in? People are right that Be Our Guest was outstanding but some of these musical numbers (any of Beast's tunes mostly) really dragged. 

I thought Emma Watson was very good, but was that really her singing? I loved Gaston and Le Fif Fou. Beast was very good but his behaviour change was a little too fast. It actually felt more natural in the cartoon version. 

For the supporting cast, I'm always a fan of Kevin Kline, and I really loved Stanley Tucci's toothy scenes, those never got old. I thought Cogsworth was Patrick Stewart the entire time, whoops. 

I now realize i really need to show my daughter the 1991 animated feature which, if memory serves, got nominated for Best Picture. No way that's happening again with this. 

Not many French accents either for a film set in France. At least Lumiere didn't have a Scottish accent, that would have been brutal. 

I don't know why the film chose to replicate the ballroom dancing scene from the animated feature. That scene just felt super awkward. Also Belle at the top of the staircase waiting to meet Beast really reminded me too much of Watson's Harry Potter heroine showing up all elegant to the dance. 

In terms of being a good movie for a kid, I don't know. They go to the trouble of showing that no digital wolves were harmed in the making of this film, but they're very generous with punches to the face and attempted murder of fathers. I think Disney can do better. Still a decent film for adults though. 

Heart rating: 3.5 stars (i cried, well done)

Brain rating: 3.5 stars