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Moana - Barney's Incorrect Five Second Reviews
- Black Barney
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This movie, it make-a me cry!
I took my five-year old daughter to see this on Sunday thinking it would be a sure-fire homerun for her. This movie ended up surprising me in many ways.
1. I liked it far more than she did. She also is probably the only kid in the world who didn't love Frozen (she prefers Inside Out, Shaun the Sheep).
2. I never thought I'd enjoy the music and songs as much as I did. I thought they were great.
3. With Disney owning the rights to Star Wars, i guess all deceased people come back in blue ghost-form now?
4. I can't believe i got misty-eyed...twice.
I'm not sure why they didn't cast Mila Kunis as Princess Moana since she sounds just like her, but probably because she doesn't have the pipes to carry the tunes that little Auli'i does. This film really did take the singing seriously I can see. It shows commitment when you cast Nicole Scherzinger and Jemaine Clement (!!!) instead of Russell Crowe. Good job Disney!
If I spend too much time thinking about the movie, it might lose some points, but really i can't escape how the movie made me feel the entire time. i had some kid kicking the back of my seat for half the movie and I only became HALF homicidal. That's testament to how much fun this movie is.
The visuals are quite breathtaking too. I'm not sure what animation algorithm is behind the hair but it WORKS. I couldn't take my eyes off it.
I'm sure that not all kids will like it (mine didn't), but it will keep their attention the entire time. That's important. I also like that my daughter sees that a princess doesn't need a prince or love interest to be somebody. Moana is just fine on her own. I just hope my girl doesn't start questioning the parking lot rules I've made, "What would Moana do?"
Heart rating - 5 stars
Brain rating - 4 stars
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My big take-away from the film is that I understand how many are going to choose to plug-in and download themselves into the machine when the technology comes. This world was prettier than our real one!
(Another reason I don't buy the "we're living in a simulation" theory...our world is dreary and dull compared to what we're being fed on screen, why wouldn't we simulate that?
Unless the robots/players are punishing us...)
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- Black Barney
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- Black Barney
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Back to the movie, [spoilers!] you know how Moana sets a seashell on top of the pile of chief stones at the end - what will the next leader do? So little forethought - she doesn't care, she's off to explore with an armada at her back! Her lifetime's longing finally reached! I already brought life back to the island, so screw you suckers left behind!
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- Black Barney
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- Posts: 10045
- Thank you received: 3553
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